My ghosts kicked my ass

Everything was going great, I might dare to say. I was feeling better, things were improving. The days were clear and warm and the year was new and fresh. My motivation was through the roof. I noticed a reduction of the ever-present anxiety that followed me for half a year. I felt like I could conquer the world. Well, my world at least.

Then, the ghosts came. They followed me from the previous year and haunted my life as they did last year. At first, I didn't pay them any attention. I thought I was different. I thought I could deal with them now, with this updated version of myself. At first I thought I could shake them off, like one shakes the old dust from their worn clothes.

Slowly, they crept in, getting closer and closer. Still, I refused to see the signs. I refused to look at them.

One day this week, they jumped at me. The same old ghosts from my past rounded me up and kicked my ass until I fell down the same old hole. I went through the same patters again, through the same arguments, through the same issues. They shouted the same old curses, ready to bind me to them. The negative talk began, with the same words that by now feel like a habbit.

I was kind of expecting it. The signs I refused to look at had been there, present in the back of my mind.

The week passed and the beating was over. I looked up at the sky from the bottom of my hole, longing for the light. Maybe I'm still not ready to face those ghosts. Still, is it me or is this hole easier to climb out of? Is it my imagination or do my bruises hurt less?

Maybe because the year is new. Maybe because the sun still shines. Maybe because the light at the end of the hole looks like hope. What matters is that today, the voices of the ghosts are just an echo in my mind. Tomorrow, I might hear the voices of spirits, speaking about healing.